The year winds down. the year winds up.

reflections on Reflections.
Greetings,fellow listeners, hearer of sounds. It’s been quite a year, a plethora of difficulty and renewal. I have had the last 7 days off from work, and do not go back until next Wednesday. While this is shorter than the traditional two weeks our school district has given us in the past, it is more than most people get I am afraid. Yes, many teachers work their butts off, but so do many others.
Time off is a tricky thing. While I was going on fumes, I made the list, of about 50, or 25 essential things I was going to accomplish over this break. Definately accomplish! Correct all my homework by last wednesday. Plan the month ahead. Read teacher books. Write new music for the gig tomorrow. Write new music for the 2oth. Write new music for Feb 3 and 5. Play piano a lot. learn new tunes by Carei and Brian. throw out old things. Make my “book” of tunes- new addition. Clean out the office. Read a bunch of books. Go ice fishing. tie some flies. do all these things and more. and more. and do all these great things with my family.
Then, I noticed that on Sunday, I still had an exhaustion headache. I was still anxious on Tuesday. I picked up the biography of Thelonius MOnk I started a few years ago. and Read Carla Hagen’s wonderful book- ” hand me down my walking cane”. a great friend, and insightful book.
Saw a movie ” Eat. Pray. Love” which was great as well, but in a different way.
It finally dawned on me.
I have to listen to my dog.
Victor knows how to sit down, right next to me, while I read, with his head on my lap. It’s okay if i listen to music, or maybe nothing at all. or read, or just sit for a time. Maybe not even talk on the phone. Maybe even nod off a little.
And, I kept up my daily buddhist practice, chanted with myself and others, and by gar, I am getting some stuff down. But I am finally not driven by guilt and fear of wasting time.
Got my first seed catologue in the mail. Starting to dream about next year’s garden. Maybe no onions, but for certain, patty pan squash. Bush AND pole beans.tomatoes in a new spot. For sure carrots and parsnips, kale, arugula.
looked at maps of troutstreams. I am going to tie again soon. Time to dream.

I am hoping that the next vacay, I remember to sit still for 2 days, maybe even 3. In a few days, I am going to talk about music. but now, I am going to sit for a spell with my family.

Have safe new year! Make a great determination.


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